Sparkling in the Darkness

Snow is painful business

2010-01-08T11:24:19Z

I had my first horrible snow experience yesterday. Walking home from the bus stop, I slipped on the icy pavement - unmelted snow topped by ice - and fell twice, really hard. Once on my side, and once my feet just went from under me like a cartoon and I landed right on my backside. I now have a peach of a bruise on my thigh, making sleep difficult, and an overall stiff feeling in my hips and for some reason my head is rattling. I didn't even hit that.

I got back into the house and immediately started crying and shaking. It wasn't the pain so much as the shock of it. There's no way you see it coming, it just suddenly happens and you're hitting the ground with sickening force. That was what shook me up. Jane was amazing, hugging me and making me hot tea. Then she showed me her snow war wound - she fell so hard on her knees that one of them is cut up - and Hannah announced that she had period pains so she was feeling bad too lol. I ate dinner at the same time as the whole family and it was just a lovely time, really reminding me of how much I love living here, how much a part of the family I feel like. I'm really going to miss them when I move out.

I'm still feeling on edge today about the falls so am going to find an alternative route home, definitely. That road isn't even gritted as the council is running out. It's chaos out there.

A rather sludgy slushy fairytale

2010-01-06T14:27:31Z

It's snowing. And it's beautiful. Seriously fairytale-like. I feel like I've stepped into The Children of Green Knowe and am reminded of snow days at Millstream House when Ali and I would run across the lawn, making the first footprints. That's a special memory. I wonder if Ali remembers it.

The downside of the snow is the crippling cold and slippiness - I've worn trainers to work with my work shoes in a bag to change into - and the fact that our lives seem to grind to a halt when faced with the improbable fall of snow. Thankfully the buses kept on running and I didn't have to resort to the more expensive taxi route. It's super quiet at work though, not even a student nurse asking for a badge holder. Very odd.

I'm making my way through Yuletide 09 and am delighted by what I've found so far. I'll be posting my fave recs at some point later, definitely. They inspire me. Also am gonna watch St Trinian's tonight, it makes me super happy.

A whole new era begins, in more ways than one....

2010-01-04T23:04:38Z

So it's 2010 and I'm getting married this year. Yeah.....that's not weird!! It'll take some getting used to. Thankfully, I have an awesome lot of family to help me deal with everything. Mum has already been phoning the hotel where we're having the reception. Not embarassing at all. Still, I have contacted the lady at church who's head of the flower team, tried to get hold of my friend who could DJ for us and emailed our hotel contact about booking the mobile bar. A good start.

A nice breath of fresh air to look forward to: a trailer of the upcoming Matt Smith era of Doctor Who - both he and his companion look adorable and interesting and energetic, colour me excited! - and David Tennant regenerating into Matt Smith (yes, I cried!).

A cup of kindness to you all!

2010-01-01T11:29:03Z

Happy new year everyone! May it be beautiful and fulfilling for you all. I pray that you all are blessed.

I rung in the new year with one set of my in-laws to be, watching the chaotic wonder of Jools Holland's annual Hootnanny. We all snacked gloriously and Anthony's Mum let the old year out the back door and the new year in the front. A nice idea. I may try to do that in the future. Anyway, it was a lovely low-key way to finish off one decade and usher in another.

Anthony and I went into Bath yesterday, took a bracing open-top bus tour and then hit the shops for the sales. Anthony got The Seeds of Death - a Patrick Troughton Doctor Who episode - and Something, Something Dark Side, the Family Guy riff of The Empire Strikes Back. I got St Trinian's, the only one of my 'films I want to buy on DVD 'cause I love and watch them so many times' that I could find. I was close to buying a copy of The Muppets Christmas Carol but I know the DVD hasn't got the 'When Love is Gone' scene in which upsets me. So I'm holding out for when maybe its released with that song intact. Also considered The Dark is Rising as its got Christopher Eccleston in and looks like the sort of film that makes for great fanfic. Must see GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra for the same reason.

Lighting a candle and saying a prayer

2009-12-31T16:38:20Z

Those We Have Lost - a look back at those connected with the world of sci-fi and fantasy who died in 2009. Thanks for the memories. I send you all a quiet smile and the warm feeling that you gave me.

Boldly going, in many directions

2009-12-28T10:03:12Z

A truly lovely evening was watching Star Trek on DVD with my parents. They both loved it, saying it really captured the spirit of the original series. It was my first time seeing the film since I saw it in the cinema and it really was just as good as I remembered. It also spurred me into searching out McCoy/Chapel fics, even though Christine herself doesn't appear in the film.

Yesterday was a cinema day. My parents and Si went to see Nowhere Boy, all about John Lennon's early years, and me and Anthony hit Sherlock Holmes. A thoroughly enjoyable afternoon.
I'm not a hardcore Holmes fan, but I really felt like the spirit of the books was alive in this film. I especially loved the Holmes-Watson dynamic and friendship, it crackled and felt so real. Also Watson and Mary were so sweet together and I adored Irene Adler, a fiesty woman who can take care of herself and who drives Holmes mad, literally. I loved her! I seriously hopes a sequel is in the works. It was really good fun and creepy and scary and intense and the supporting cast were really excellent. Highly recommended. I can see it producing a lot of a fanfic.

He will knock four times.....

2009-12-26T17:52:10Z

So I've had some time to think and I might be able to now put into words my thoughts on the latest and almost last Russell T Davies Doctor Who effort.

My first thoughts were - a big hot mess. It was just so full of stuff, you know? Like Davies wanted to chuck every last idea he had on screen whilst he had the chance. I don't like the John Simm version of the Master anyway, way too much scenery-chewing for my liking though he does work brilliantly as a flipside to Tennant's energetic and manic Doctor, and I felt like he was way too much in this episode. Don't get me wrong, I love John Simm a lot, as an actor and an awesome human being. I particularly did not like the sudden mutant jumping and force-lightning. I liked the deep ravenous hunger and hobo look, that was very disturbing and worked very nicely. Just everything else about him felt wrong and panto-like. Just tooooo much, which has always been my criticism of the Davies era. I also really didn't like the ending, the Master becoming everyone on Earth. That just doesn't fit with his known ambitions. It just felt too bonkers to me, really a few steps too far.

For me, the singular perfect thing about the special was the cafe scene between the Doctor and Wilf. So emotional. The Doctor knows he's going to die, is desperate to stop it, but doesn't know how. And Wilf is a wonderful realistic character, old and defiant with a huge heart. I can see him being the best thing about these episodes. Also the mysterious lady in white, me and Anthony's money is on her being a new version of the Watcher - see Tom Baker's finale Logopolis for this fantastically spooky character and Jon Pertwee's Planet of the Spiders for earlier hints of such phenomena. She's a nice subtle idea, which Davies is often capable of.

There were other moments like this to love. I adore the Odd. They're not good or bad, just vessels for both. And the scenes of them chanting and glimpsing the future were wonderfully creepy. Minnie the Menace copping a feel of the Doctor and the idea of the Silver Cloak, of course the old folks notice what others don't. And the ever watchable Donna, a force to be reckoned with, even when she doesn't remember the Doctor. Best of all, Timothy Dalton's mysterious Narrator, with a fantastic voice and turn of phrase. Decked out in Prydonian colours, addressing a hall of Time Lords. I am looking forward to the next part, just to see what happens. But I don't expect to be impressed.

May your days be merry and bright

2009-12-25T23:42:34Z

The days feel weird. I've kinda lost hold of them. Not sure which is which.
It's been a good Christmas day though. There's been stockings, church, many presents, and the awesomeness of vicious family rounds of Articulate. And we watched White Christmas, Dad's favourite film. It's so darn funny and festive. Danny Kaye rules it with his fantastic dancing, as does Vera-Ellen. Sheer fabulousness. Everyone should experience it.

Merry Christmas, Yule and all the other gorgeous festivals :) Much love and spiritual goodness to you all. I hope your day has been as wonderfully weird and fulfilling as mine!

Not much changes, and that's okay

2009-12-23T16:13:08Z

Ah I'm home in Cornwall and darling brother Si is here too. Situation is normal - he has left my Christmas present in Thailand!! He promises to send it to me when he gets back lol. Bless. We've had good talks since getting here yesterday, it's been awesome to catch up with him. Our relationship is pretty much the same - intense and interest with much needling on both sides. Tonight, we have dinner at Christ's house with Paul and Tim and family, which is gonna be fun.

Christmas is so close, I can't believe it. Two more sleeps :)

Another gone to rest....

2009-12-21T10:28:58Z

R.I.P Brittany Murphy

Only 32 years old. Gone from us far too soon. Clueless was my first favourite film outside of Disney, every girl at school was crazy about it. I will miss your kooky sunshiny spirit. Thanks for being different. Good thoughts and prayers to her husband and family.

Here is my hope, and here is my joy

2009-12-20T21:35:15Z

Check out this Lord of the Rings fan film, called Born of Hope. It's the story of Aragorn's parents, adapted from the appendices of the books. And it's stunning.

Christmas magic, feel its tender touch

2009-12-20T13:53:05Z

Another weekend, another awesome wedding. Nick and Aisha married, surrounded by lit candles and magical Christmas atmosphere. Most cool, they high-fived after they were officially married and kissed. Made everyone laugh. It was a lovely simple service with gorgeous singing and fun photos of the couple up on the screens during the signing of the register. And we got to see Kendra, who was jiggling with excitement and looked adorable in a green velvet dress. Then Anthony and I took wedding cake to our dear friend Jon who was forced to work and couldn't attend.

In two days, I'll be home and so will Si! I really can't wait to see him, as last time I did it was all sad and melancholy due to Granny P's passing away. Our first Christmas since that and since we redid the house and the first time we'll have someone there who's not immediate family - Anthony who'll be arriving Christmas Eve. I am so full of Christmas spirit. Love it love it love it.

Come to Chinatown, ask for Caine, he will help you

2009-12-17T13:59:48Z

I have finally emerged from the glorious goodness of Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues. Since David Carradine's death in June, I have been making my way through all four series of the show and loving every minute of it. It's an action cop show, yet is also a study and exploration of spirituality, of how we live our lives. It's full of questions and challenges and it's pretty stunning. Also I adore the cast of reoccurring characters. Kermit Griffin is my favourite - ex-mercenary with a very mysterious past, possibly has a son, and never takes off his dark green sunglasses. If this show had come out after fandom exploded, it would be HUGE and Kermit would be everyone's favourite to fanfic. But the others are all so good too. There's so many to write about and explore. This quote made me cry in the final episode. It's poignant, especially after Carradine's death:

Peter: (to his precinct colleagues) When I was a very young boy, my father came and told me that my mother had died. I ran to the pond to look for her reflection standing over me. But it wasn't there and I learned to swim alone. As a cop, whenever I was in danger, I'd look for a reflection and I'd always see one or all of you standing behind me and that gave me the courage to go on. I'll be around, but if you ever need somebody, look for my reflection.

I urge you, look this show up on hulu or youtube. All the episode are there and they are made to be enjoyed. I cannot recommend this show enough, really I can't. Also a young David Hewlett is in the reoccurring cast and is a delight.

Fave fics I've found so far:
A Day in the Life - a day of Paul Blaisdell's life and all he faces as Captain of the 101st Precinct and Peter's foster father. Captures the squad room so perfectly.
Promises to Keep - another dragonswing is formed, with Kermit and Peter looking to rescue Blaisdell. Intense and really nails the feel of the show, especially the dragonswing episodes.

Caine: Try to think of tonight as its own remembrance.
Peter: Why?
Caine: Because it is all that separates us from tomorrow.

Here's to many more

2009-12-16T11:18:25Z

Yesterday was me and Anthony's two year anniversary. This time next year, we'll be married. That is a weird thought! Exciting and awesome though. We went out to dinner at Boozy Rouge, an Alice in Wonderland-themed restaurant that was down at basement level. Very cool and secretive. Our table was the King of Hearts :) Anthony had venison, I told him that Bambi will judge him lol. Tasted good though. An extremely cold night but fun was had by all. Here's to many more years, baby!

The most magical time of the year

2009-12-15T11:21:43Z

I cannot describe how magical Anna and Andy's wedding this weekend was - those who know me on Facebook check out the awesome pics me and little sis have posted there. It was gorgeous and so beautiful and the speeches were so good, the best man truly knocked it out of the park. Anthony enjoyed himself too, didn't have any panic attacks. I got to catch up with tons of cousins, wow do I feel old when I chat to George and John who have always been my little cousins! Also seeing Harriet, my favourite cousin, was more than wonderful. She's totally gonna help design our wedding!

I'm so buying myself a 'dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians' t-shirt after Christmas. And wear it to church :)

Just another ordinary crazy right moment

2009-12-10T15:08:39Z

Weirdest moment at work

- I'm finishing up in the ladies bathrooms and reaching to hitch up my trousers when my phone rings. The place is empty so I answer. It's the lady at church in charge of the kids and is worried about a projector not working and needs me to direct her to someone in the know. I help out best I can, suggesting one or two folks, before finally making it out to the sinks. Luckily no one walked in mid-conversation. That would have been weird.

Working my way through it

2009-12-08T11:29:43Z

Normal service has been resumed! Thanks to gnimaerd for helping me cope with the photoshop madness that went on here. I am hoping to get an actual new layout up soon.

Worst cramps known to womankind this weekend. According to Mum, it's from Granny P I have inherited this pain as she had terrible period pains too. Still I beat them down with pain pills and hot water bottle. I soldiered through my first carol services. It was amazing, candles everywhere and a very awesome powerful choir. I did get mad when students kept telling me what went wrong during the first service though - we had severe technical hitches. According to Anthony, I looked like I wanted to garrott someone. The thought crossed my mind. But then he took my home and rubbed my feet and watched Top Gear with me :)

Awesome Christmas super short video - Doctor Who BBC Christmas ident. I want a ride like that!

I have bought sparkly pretties for the Braithwaite girls, three lovely necklaces, and a nice earring and necklace set for Baby Mel. I was going to wrap them up last night but then I run out of sticky tape. So I listened to 'Rumours of Angels', the best Christmas music arc ever, and wrote my Christmas cards. I've already sent off the ones that need to be posted. Hope they get to those of you I have addresses for!!

Cousin Anna's wedding this weekend, yay! I get to share a hotel room with Ali and spend time with my family and see my favourite cousin, Harriet. We're sitting at the same table at the reception, woohoo. The mission shall be to keep Dad calm and make him realise that there is no pressure on him. I am up for the task. Mum deserves to enjoy herself!

Fic: Axis (Supernatural, Castiel & Dean, PG)

2009-12-03T14:27:12Z

Title: Axis
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester (pre-slash)
Disclaimer: It's all Eric Kripke and The CW
Rating: PG
Summary: Castiel looks for God. He finds his feet and something more instead.
Author Notes: My first Supernatural fic! Scary times. Huge thanks to Claire for beta-work and constant encouragement and to Star, whose own work never stops inspiring me to reach out and try!

He is not in any church, or any structure built on holy ground.

Or trapped beneath it.

*

Time unspools without measurement as Castiel scours the world for his Lord. He does not keep track because it is not important. Keeping himself undetected by his brothers is. Trying to out-think those who shaped his thoughts takes up most of his concentration, especially now that heaven's power has almost completely left him.

He kills two at the edge of an African plain. He buries the vessels.

*

He is not at the bottom of any ocean.

*

Dean’s pendant stays in Castiel’s pocket, inside the coat’s lining, close to his heart. The vessel’s heart. The line is disappearing rapidly between them. He is Castiel but he is no longer of heaven. And the vessel is empty of all but him.

Even though he knows the pendant is not growing hot, that he has not found God, he is sure that, sometimes, he can feel it burning.

*

He is not buried inside a star. Or a volcano.

*

Castiel is focused. He is systematically working his way across this dying damned world until he finds the faintest glimmer of what he is looking for. He knows he will be successful. No other could put him back together so perfectly after such a messy end.

Several times, he reaches for the cheap cell phone stowed in his pants pocket. Before, Dean was the axis on which his work here spun. Castiel could find him within a heartbeat. It is entirely different now. It is an itch that never stops.

*

He is not inside a prison. That would suit Zachariah’s humour.

*

Castiel needs to sleep. It is a strange discomforting sense of being. He keeps waking up with a jerk, his hand on the sword. He begins to settle into an uneasy rhythm; a few hours' rest and then the search begins again.

Sometimes, his mind fastens on that time between when his life ended and when he woke up, whole and breathless, in the wreckage of Chuck’s house. Certain of where he was needed, where he should be.

There was light. And it felt akin to home. But then there was darkness too, as if the sun had been blotted out, and he was pulled, held tightly and protected, and words were whispered into his ear as it reformed. He wishes he could remember them.

More often than not, he wakes clutching the pendant.

*

He is not in the ashes of the dead, or the laughter of the living.

*

He is missing something, Castiel is certain. His search goes on, and he follows an increasingly narrowing path. Zachariah is closing in. Three more of his brothers were slaughtered outside of Sweden, another dropped, lifeless, into the sea off the New Zealand coast.

He saves a child from drowning when he swoops over a nearby beach. He cuts his finger on broken glass at the shoreline and finds that it does not heal with a thought. It is slow and sluggish. Almost human. He strains to recognise himself in the mirror.

*

“What the hell is taking so long?”

Dean’s voice is harsh in his ear. Castiel’s shirt is ruined and he has to pull the sword from the chest of his brother. There is smoke and scorched earth. All he can focus on is Dean’s voice.

“Dean...”

It is a reprimand and almost a sigh, an entreaty. Dean stays silent. Miracles do happen.

“I am still searching,” Castiel says at last, when he is able. “Zachariah is looking too. It’s a problem.”

Dean curses, loudly and vehemently. Castiel flinches slightly. His stained fingers brush against the pendant where it hangs around his neck. No warmth at all. But there is Dean talking in his ear. Something is being done.

*

He is………

*

There are people that Castiel meets who encourage him. Those touched by God are as easy to recognise as those possessed by demons. It’s in their eyes and aspect. The pastor, the biker tattooed with skulls and the names of saints, the chirpy waitress, the mechanic with only one leg, the widowed school teacher.

They reach out to him and he can hear God in their words.

The pendant glows softly.

*

Castiel discovers that Dean was right about pie. It is delicious. He can actually taste food now. He needs it and he chooses pie. Perhaps because it is what Dean would do and Castiel is, for lack of a more accurate term, a hunter now.

Apple pie is his favourite. The irony of that causes a smile to flitter across his face. The expression is no longer alien to him. Dean would refuse to believe it, or say something baffling. Castiel finds that he misses those moments. He pushes himself onwards.

*

Gavreel finds him in Jerusalem. He looks like a local to the area, a tribesman swathed in clean simple robing. But it is obvious when he smiles; it's like looking directly into the sun. Castiel does not draw his sword. He would not even get close enough to strike anyway.

“You’re wanted, brother,” Gavreel tells him. “Everyone’s talking.”

“But who are they listening to?”

Gavreel smiles slightly. He has seen God, talked with Him, but he has been on Earth more than almost any other in Castiel’s garrison. A holy messenger to God’s creation. It shows in every gesture and expression he makes.

“Zachariah is a pustule,” Gavreel's words are drenched in disgust. “Our brothers listen. And Lucifer won’t be alone.”

“And you?”

“I am God's voice.”

Angels deal only in absolutes. Irritation creeps in Castiel's insides. For a dizzy disorientating second, he feels the world spin and remembers how Dean looked at him when they first met. Perhaps he now wears a similar expression. His view of the world has warped remarkably, so that it more closely resembles that of a Winchester, rather than an angel.

He wears Dean's paranoia too. Angels are his brothers. But he can no longer trust them.

Gavreel observes him, amusement tugging at his smile. But he comes no closer.

“You have changed, brother,” he pronounces.

“The world is ending.”

“Perhaps.”

And then Gavreel is gone. Castiel is left feeling vastly irritated and is reminded again of Dean’s frequent reactions to his sudden flights.

*

He enjoys rainstorms; their sudden appearances and how they quench the land. Their beauty and power. Castiel closes his eyes and drinks it in. He feels closer to heaven, to his Father. He doesn’t know how long he stands there, but his fingers are now numb. It is the most curious sensation.

“Hey!”

Dean is behind him, soaked through and furious. He throws something, a coat perhaps, over Castiel and drags him towards the Impala, shouting obscenities. Castiel lets him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

Castiel smiles. Defeated and sad and exhilarated and yearning. Humanity feels so much all at once.

“It’s good to see you, Dean.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s save this moment.”

Dean pushes him into the back-seat of the Impala and takes the front for himself. He throws a thin motel towel to Castiel. He looks angry, but there is relief there too. A smile, if he stopped frowning. Castiel has learned Dean like a psalm.

“Is there any good reason why you were trying to drown yourself?”

It is Castiel’s turn to frown. “It’s beautiful, Dean.”

Dean snorts and Castiel’s hand strays automatically to the pendant. It’s not only thunderstorms that bring him closer to the Lord.

Sam Winchester wants to change, to atone for his past. He recognises his wrong and seeks forgiveness. Dean Winchester does not believe, but he fights, even when he thinks he will lose.

Dean’s eyes are still green. Castiel feels a strange buoyancy at that. Why should they have changed? Why does it matter? Castiel still has an affinity for absolutes. His hand hovers between the pendant and Dean.

He knows so little now. But he does know that the rain feels good against his skin and that apple pie is delicious, truly God-given. That Dean’s eyes are green. That his skin prickles with something he now knows as pleasure when Dean is close. That somehow, Dean found him.

He believes Dean’s plan is foolhardy and doomed. But he believes that the Winchesters have made it a habit to beat the impossible. He believes that God is out there.

Dean is shaking his head, muttering under his breath. He kicks his car into gear and drives with an urgency that Castiel can feel thrumming through him. His fingers graze Dean’s jacket, the back of his neck. Dean’s expression flickers and Castiel’s grip becomes firm on his shoulder. His axis.

I am here. And so are you.

He believes.
-the end

Advent is upon us! Yay for anarchic school girls and druggy detectives!

2009-12-01T16:50:54Z

Yay, it's December! Happy Advent, everyone! I can feel myself crawling closer to Christmas, which makes me very happy. Best time of year ever. Si claims to be coming home purely for Christmas dinner, I think he really missed it last year whilst in Thailand.

It's spookily quiet at work today. It has been for the past week or so. It's nice not to be overrun with students, but it does make things a mite creepy, especially as I go past the mortuary at the end of my shift. It would be worse at Halloween methinks.

St Trinian's was as wonderful as promised. Seriously fun. A great big dollop of Britishness, fighting for a cause with anarchy and awesome teamwork. Gemma Arterton knows how to work a pencil skirt! I'd dress like that at work if I thought I could get away with it. Offered an article on the film to my Damaris editor and he said he'd like something brief. Um....oops? It's not long, just not brief either. Am hoping to get it done and polished for the week of the sequel's release (18th). I am channeling Miss Fritton's fantastically barmy and supportive spirit, only without the whiskey, smoking, and dog.

Am very much intrigued by Guy Richie's take on Sherlock Holmes. The film comes out on 25th December and am hoping to persuade my family see it with me. Richie is a tad hit and miss for me, I very much enjoyed Snatch though. And the trailer was very much inticing. I do like me some Robert Downey Jr. I've still got to see Iron Man. Bad geek girl! Anthony is a big Sherlock Holmes fan so maybe we can go see it in January. He may not appreciate the rough and ready reimagining though.

Turkeys and girl crushes and dogs, oh my!

2009-11-27T22:59:02Z

Happy Turkey Day to all my American friends! I really hope you had an amazing day, spent loads of time with your families, and had a gorgeous meal!

I am hoping to get St Trinian's out on DVD tomorrow. I've got the biggest girlcrush on Gemma Alterton and it needs sating til Prince of Persia: Sands of Time comes out next year - trailer looks amazing for that too. Got a thing for big fun adventure films, though there has to be some substance there too. I draw the line at Michael Bay!!

Hard to believe that Christmas is less than a month away. I still have presents to buy, a railcard to renew, train tickets to pick up.....
Can't wait though. I can't believe I'll get to see Si! It's gonna be chaos but amazing too.

Mum and Dad are off to the O2 Arena in London this weekend to see the tennis. I am hugely jealous that they'll get to see Roger Federer play. But I'm also so glad that they're using the extra money they no longer have to spend on their kids on themselves in wonderful ways. Go parentals!

Anthony's Mum and stepdad have bought a new dog, from the same rescue centre where they got Hannah. Spike is a black spaniel and is adorable. I can't wait to meet him after Christmas :) That house would feel so empty and strange without a dog and they all miss Hannah so much. We're definitely gonna end up getting at least one dog. I've definitely come round to the idea.

Wondering where this whole anti-feminist vibe is leading....

2009-11-22T12:03:31Z

Another November wrestling show on Friday! I was sad that I didn't get to see Frankie or Robbie, but recently a very loved English wrestling promoter died and so lots of the boys were at the funeral. We did get to see some incredible work though - there's some awesome young wrestlers with astonishing moves. And Anthony got to see Mikey Whiplash, his favourite, who is now a face. No idea when that happened. And we had front row seats in a different area which was very cool. We had a picnicy dinner as we waited for the show to start. It was just a lovely evening.

I'm more than a little ticked about the most recent Supernatural episode, Abandon All Hope. The show makers have a horrible habit of killing off any main/reoccuring female characters. I'm starting to worry about their issues. Now, I don't really like Jo, but Ellen was a kickass character and seriously, why did she have to eat it? Admittedly, I would prefer their deaths to Bobby or Castiel - if they die, I'm gonna be beyond upset - but still, they could have survived a few episodes more. Their deaths didn't seem to serve any purpose except for shock, I'm guessing that ep might have been the midseason finale.

'lets lock death away'

2009-11-18T11:10:56Z

Edward Woodward 1930 - 2009
A terrific actor who mastered the art of coiled rage. He will never be forgotten thanks to his lead role in the cult horror film, The Wicker Man, and as the title characters in TV classics Callan and The Equalizer. I will love him forever for his Harry Malone on short-lived show CI5: The New Professionals. He died peacefully in Cornwall surrounded by friends and family.

Tribute to Edward Woodward by Edgar Wright - who directed him in Hot Fuzz. Truly heartfelt and lovely.

My laptop mousepad refuses to respond so I'm forced to use a normal mouse all plugged in. I am scrambling to find someone to fix it. Maybe Jon's housemate who has so much computery knowledge?

Spent the past weekend in Cornwall with the parentals and went to see White Christmas at the theate. It's a wonderful traditional musical, adapted well from the awesome film. And they made it snow indoors! I was delighted. Go and see it people, either in Plymouth or when it moves to Salford soon. A great way to get into the festive spirit.

Bringing the gleeful joy

2009-11-10T11:21:07Z

*le sigh* The wedding reception venue can't hold as many as we thought it could. But we shall muddle through and decide if it's what we really want. We'll take a good hard look at the wedding guest list again and decide who we really want to be there for the fun and games in the evening.

Meanwhile, I've been plunging head first into Puck/Rachel and here's some favourites of what I've found

Fic
Don't Do Sadness by hariboo_smirks 'Every big change starts with a small one. That's just how it is. Thing is, nobody usually sees it coming' Massively wonderful Glee as a fabulous team fic too.
In a Giddy Whirl by waldorph 'Puck is a badass motherfucker'
and the companion piece The Ones that Entertain by waldorph 'Kurt is going to make this fabulous' Yay for girlie bonding and the wonder of Kurt. I want to go shopping with him!
sin tetas, no hay paraiso by dress without sleeves. 'The girl has the grip of a damn beartrap and she's not letting him go. He sighs. "What do you want, Crazy?"'

Music Video
I'd Come for You by Natih1986. Pure awesome.

Fic: Riding Towards the Flames (PRMF, Madison/Nick, G)

2009-11-09T11:39:34Z

Title: Riding Towards the Flames
Fandom: Power Rangers Mystic Force
Rating: G
Characters: Madison Rocca / Nick Russell
Spoilers: Set pre and post finale
Disclaimer: I own none of it, it's all Disney.
Summary: Nick offers to take Madison for a ride. It takes a long time for her to accept.

The first time Nick invited Madison to take a ride with him on his motorbike, she refused automatically. Motorbikes made her nervous, ever since that bad spill Vida had taken riding Callum Hart’s machine four summers ago. Nick told her she'd be missing out.

The second time Nick asked was the night after Madison had been turned into a statue and back again. She kept flexing her fingers and rubbing her knee, working at something that wasn't there any more. Nick had an eyebrow raised and a smile that made her smile right back because the genuinely happy expression was so rare on him.

But Ben wanted to take her out for dinner so she watched Nick leave alone and that image stayed with her when Ben smiled and made her feel special.

The third time was just after Vida had told everyone that Madison and Ben hadn’t worked out. He didn’t like their time together constantly being interrupted by her cell phone without any real explanation and Madison didn’t blame him. No amount of sisterly talks with Vida or ice cream with Chip and Xander was lifting her spirits either.

“You look like you could use a ride,” Nick told her, his smile pearly white and her heart did a little twist.

He held out a spare helmet like an offering and Madison had a tiny flashback to how she'd felt when Udonna had handed her a wand. Like somehow her life was going to change, irreparably, again.

Then both of their cell phones rang and they were running towards the tree.

Nick didn’t ask for a long time after that. He was learning more about his own history and he spent more time alone than he ever had before. He was still Nick, funny and smart and hard-working. But Madison worried; he looked different now. He looked raw.

She didn’t stop reaching out to him, because no one should feel like they’re alone, especially when they’re not. Vida caught her flipping through motorbike magazines and grinned with teasing eyes.

“Something you want to tell me, sis?” her meaning clear in the slouch of her mouth.

“No...........”

Madison tried to bury herself back into the magazine, but Vida wasn't budging. Madison sighed, frustration and anxiety and something else rattling through her in that single breath.

“Hey,” Vida was gentle now, hand stroking through Madison's hair like she used to when they were kids and Madison was upset.

“It’s not…….anything,” Madison struggled to articulate. “I don’t think he always believes we’re here for him.”

“Hey, he just likes being alone,” Vida pointed out. “It’s how he deals.”

Madison nodded, she understood and that was why she worried. She knew and enjoyed the distance that her viewfinder gave her and that Nick’s bike gave him. But there was something about this distance from Nick that was different. Their connection felt paper thin and breakable. Sometimes it felt like Nick was going to disappear.

She gathered her courage and left a stack of motorbike magazines by the register just as Nick was about to come on shift. He caught her eye and his smile felt like sunlight. Every smile she got from him was victory.

Then there was no time because Udonna was missing and LeeLee was dating Phineas and Koragg was Leanbow and then Nick was leaving. Madison was the only one to follow him outside after the big group farewell and felt awkward and needy, digging her sneakers into the dust. She didn't really want him to leave, but she didn't stop him and didn't know what to say. He had his family now.

It was too late to ask him for a ride. But she forced words out and he handed her his blanket with something that sounded like he’d be back. From Nick, that was better than a promise. Their connection shimmered.

Madison didn't stop reading motorbike magazines. Soon, she could identify makes and models and saw Nick in every design. She looked up whenever she heard a bike nearby and had a collection of flyers at home about bike rallies, but could never find the courage to go and film one, to show Nick when he came back. Vida smiled and never told her once to move on.

Madison missed him a lot. She felt hopeful every time she caught sight of his blanket. And scared and doubtful.

It wasn't until the day that Claire was organising a turn-out of Rootcore that Nick showed up. Chip was trying out a spell to collect the cobwebs from the ceiling, Claire wanted them for healing spells, and Xander was arguing loudly with Vida about the way she was packing the boxes. There was a lot of stuff and Claire was keeping a very detailed list that only LeeLee seemed to understand.

It was right when Madison lifted her head to ask about the mushrooms she’d found growing inside one of the rooms that she noticed Nick.

Claire noticed too, loudly.

“Nick!” she flew down the steps and flung her arms around him. “How are you? How's Udonna? And Leanbow?”

“Nick!”

Chip landed with surprising grace at the former Red Ranger’s side and grinned, before grabbing him in a hug that got him tangled up with Claire too. Nick laughed.

“Hey, Chip. Nice landing.”

Madison gulped in a breath. She knew Vida was grinning at her. Nick was looking at her now. Really looking, like he was happy to see her.

“You’ve got my blanket?”

Madison could feel her smile grow. The look had gone from his eyes, most of it. What she saw there now made her think of the beautiful piece of footage she’d shot of a gorgeous Harley down by the coast. Her tutor thought it could get her into film school.

“Thanks for letting me look after it,” she managed, hands in her pockets and her limbs moving awkwardly.

“Hey, thanks for taking care of it.”

There was a breath of silence and Madison realised that everyone else in the room was looking at them. She could feel herself blush, embarrassment crawling up her spine. Claire clapped her hands suddenly, directing Chip back up to the ceiling. Madison was vaguely aware of Vida shoving Xander to the boxes and LeeLee rushing outside to find Phineas. He was with Daggeron and Jenji, handing out what Rootcore didn’t need to the villagers.

Nick was still looking at her, with that smile. His hands were in his pockets too. There was a tattoo peeking out from one of his short shirt sleeves, it looked like a spread of flames. Madison drank him in, capturing the image in her mind. She wished she had her camera.

Her smile curled up in the corner of her mouth. Now was her chance to give him a different answer. She took a deep breath.

“Do you think you could give me a ride?”

Nick met her eyes, studying her, his mouth in a surprised relieved smile. He held out an empty hand. It felt like a lifeline.

“You ready for this?

Madison’s fingers gently, finally, interlaced with his

“We’ll find out.

-the end

At the bottom of my garden.....

2009-11-07T22:34:26Z

"An elfin rout,
With berries laden,
Throngs round about
A merry maiden.

Red-gold her gown;
Sun-tanned is she;
She wears a crown
Of bryony.

The sweet Spring came,
And lovely Summer:
Guess, then, her name -
This latest-comer!"

- Intro to Flower Fairies of the Autumn, by Cecily Mary Barker